thru 2 ur heart…

Assalamu’alaikum, sahabat….

this is another story about love….demen amat yah ninta..hehe…

well, this time, hikmah kudapat dari perjalanan cinta seorang sahabat yg sangatsangatsangat dekat di hati…hmm…ok ok this ones about someone i loved….in the past…ofcos  😉

ok…then..the story begin on the day, ALLAH Let our heart meet each other, before we actually met….yup, in amazing way, i found his heart very close to mine n i’m suprisingly dont give a care of how he look…just found him, n feel very very comfort…in every way…

n it happens to him either….it shock us both… but non of us could deny it…

well,  bukan hidup ninta klo smuanya berjalan mulus…no, i’m not complaining here….i believe this is the way ALLAH mengajarkanku mengambil hikmah..dan bersyukur…apapun ketetapannya..sepahit apapun kenyataannya….khan lg kuliah ikhlas…blom lulus niy 😉

anyway, kenyataannya adalah, he’s not a kind of gentleman who strong enough to fight for his own life….in many reasons, being with me means losing the only person he loved in this entire world….well, it’s a kinda big dillema….not only for him….its goes to us…

dan seorang sahabat berkata, he’s trully not a kind of  guy who will suit me….if he couldnot found the strenght to fight for his own life, it means he’s not strong enough to support n take a good care of me…n ais….

in my complicated life, i surely need someone much much better than him…

i agree….

but…when it come to what u feel…rasa di hati….smuanya ga bs se simple milih merk kecap, atau even a nice dress to wear on a special moment….it’s not about, this ones not good, so u can tear them off….it’s couldnot become as simple as u wish…trully is 😦

but i do try very hard…

even i couldnot deny, the feeling for him goes bigger n bigger everyday, even i never stop asking ALLAH to make me forget everything about him, in every pray…in every second….i do try….

even it hurts me a lot…

but the story is getting worse, sahabat….

he has just making a big step of his life n i could say..it’s a huge mistake…with all his big problems, he choose NOT to solve…but to add…with other big disaster….very very ughhh….not so smart….if u could say…. 😦 very dissapointed…..

n everything for the reason…make everyone happy….he tought this is a very heroic step…a very unselfish thing he ever done….

but for me….to make anyone’s happy…u should be happy first….

Feel full to be fullfill….penuh dulu, br bisa memenuhi…bahagia dulu…baru bs membahagiakan org lain…..

selama kt blm bs bahagia, it’s a mission impossible to make anyone..anyone feels happy….ok, u could run into a script….make ur lif e a big drama….but for how long?how long u could stand?how could u?

pada suatu titik, akan hadir sebuah kepenatan…lelah pada semua kebohongan dan kepura2an…every drama has an ending, isnt it?

i do believe, we running our lifes based on a big script from ALLAH SWT…but it doesn’t mean,  we have no right to fight for something we believe….

nasib kita sudah tertulis di lauh mafudz…ALLAH sudah tetapkan kelahiran, cerita hidup, bahkan tempat dan detik kematian kita…tp ALLAH beri kita kesempatan, utk mengubah cerita hidup yg buruk….

dengan doa…dengan ibadah…dan the most of all…dengan RahmatNYA….thats why we always ask for Rahmat dan keberkahan ALLAH…thats why…

karena mampunya kt beribadah kepada ALLAH semata2 karena hidayah dan rahmatNYA…mampunya kaki melangkah, mampunya hati sunyi berzikir….semua karena ALLAH….karena Rahmat dan petunjukNYA lah kt dikumpulkan dalam iman….Subhanallah….

seperti dalam hadist Qudsy Riwayat Bukhari, ALLAH Berfirman melalui lisan mulia Rasulullah,

” Wahai hamba-hamba-KU, semua kalian berada dalam kesesatan kecuali orang-orang yang telah AKU beri petunjuk, maka mintalah selalu petunjuk-KU tentu AKU akan memberimu petunjuk”.

Salam Rindu Bagimu Baginda Rasul…Maha Indah Sang Pengutusmu….Subhanallah..semoga kita termasuk golongan hamba ALLAH yg diberi petunjuk dan hidayah….sampai akhir hidup kita…aamiin…

eniwei, back to the story….

it’s really hard to see someone u love getting himself into sadness…into a foolish decision a man could make…sorry about the phrases, but for me, being a man means u should be able to fight…to have a strong will…cos a man means Imam….a leader….contoh..panutan….klo untuk diri sendiri aja ga mampu banyak berbuat, gmn ALLAH titipkan istri dan anak2 yang kelak dimintai pertangungjawaban…di sidang akbar dihadapan ALLAH….dimana saksi dan pembela adalah amal dan indera kita….Naudzubillah….sama aja nyeburin diri ke neraka…Naudzubillah…

but, hey…he already make his decision….for his second chance…i do wish this time, he could found his happiness….

i wish life will be gentle to him this time….semoga ALLAH ijabah…aamiin….

well dear sahabat, hikmahku kali ini, dalam hidup jgn pernah takut berjuang utk hal yg kita inginkan…yg kt impikan….fight….karena Rasul pun mengajarkan Ikhtiar sebelum tawakal….doa sebelum berpasrah diri….semua ada prosesnya…n the most important thing is….selalu berbaiksangka pada ALLAH….berhusnudzon pada Sang Maha Baik…Sang Maha Lembut..Sang Maha Pemberi Kemudahan….

jangan khawatir tidak dikabulkan….jangan berfikir mustahil terjadi..karena ga ada hal yang mustahil bagi ALLAH bila DIA mengkehendakinya….

“Dan yang demikian itu tidaklah sulit bagi ALLAH”. ( QS. Fathir: 17 )

ah, sahabat..kebenaran hanya milik ALLAH…DIAlah tempat kita kembali..semoga kt kembali dalam iman…dalam khusnul khotimah….aamiin

be gentle to ur love one, dear….find the love and the happiness for urself first, than u could share them to people around u…for ur loved one…

husnudzon pada ALLAH…mohon cinta dan kelembutan takdirnya….aamiin, Robb…cintai kami semua…

cintai kami….miliki hati kami…

aamiin Allahumma aamiin  ^__^

somethin’ stupid

menangis

today,

all i want is cornering myself on that cozy bed of mine…melegakan hati dgn senjataku satu2nya…menangis….

so stupid….but honestly, i’m relief…

dan airmataku kali ini, bukan atas nama penyesalan…bukan juga atas nama kesedihan ga berujung…ehem…*membela diri mode on* 😀

kali ini, smua atas nama sesak di dada…

dear, dlm hidupku, sering kujejali kepala dan hatiku dgn semua hal yg mesti diputuskan…semua hal mendesak yang harus dimulai dan diakhiri…hmmm, more than often…we may say, always…

I always deal with all the important decision…for me, and for my only Ais…

dari masalah memutuskan bersama jadwal maen game dan blajar…sekolah yg cocok…sampai ke masalah…cinta…hati….*sampai deh di bagian paling berat*

dear, for all that decision,  I always follow my heart, n that… i believe comes from Allah…My Only Robb…ga pernah kuragu…karna dlm setiap sujud..dalam setiap tahiyat…hanya kuminta..

Ya Robbiy, beri petunjukMU…dalam setiap langkah..dalam setiap hembusan nafasku…tuntun aku dlm setiap amalan dan langkah terbaik menurut Engkau…jadikan semua hal..mendekatkanku ke jalanMU….aamiin Yaa Allah…

dan Syukurku Yaa Robbal ‘alamiin…tak pernah Kau tinggalkan aku…tak pernah kurasa Kau berpaling dariku….Alhamdulillah…^__^

well, back to the crowd in my head…

lately, banyak hal yg bener2 bikin aku cape..lelah tak terkira…*hmm, serius, kali ini ga lebay* 🙂

dari perdebatan2 panjang..*mmmphhh..i hate arguing* 😦

dan kenyataan2 ga jelas dan ga penting yg menjejaliku hari2 ini…duh beneran cape…this is more than making ur decision and leave…or even, making ur decision n live with it…this is about i’m making my decision, n for the consequences, i have to deal with all that annoying questions, face, n all that “asli nyebelin n bikin stress” stuff…aaarggggggghhh……*ngacak2 rambut*

asli stress…n cape … 😦

Ah Robb..lelah lahir bathin…Really need Your big hug…. really really need YOU Robbiy…. *tears*

hmm..but one thing for sure, semua hal cuma membuatku yakin atas semua keputusan..Insya Allah…

Ya Robbana…

Duh Dear…
abis “jalan-jalan” di blognya Rindu, selalu deh udahannya jd “brebes mili”..*alesyan deh nin, emang cengeng juga!*

spt postingannya ini, bikin aku inget lg..alasanku hijrah..alasanku menutup seluruh tubuh dgn hijab…beberapa teman bertanya, knp nin?knp hrs berjilbab?knp hrs setelah rmhtangga loe hancur?knp?..dulu, aku cuma jawab..err..knp ga?hehe…
tp untuk sahabat2 terdekatku, aku simpan jawaban dari hati..;) Lagi

right to my heart…


The Keys to Your Heart


You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You’d like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future… one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?