behind us

Dear oh dear…

it’s not a big secret anymore that my life in the PAST is worse..hahaha…i mean, I’m so gratefull Allah give me my second chance…Syukurku Yaa Robb..Kau tak pernah menjauh dariku… πŸ™‚

but hey wait a minute guys, it doesn’t mean my life is easier now…not a chance..i think easier life is not on my scenario of life…but i still feel very grateful indeed.. πŸ™‚

and in order to save my life, Allah gave my a natural way to make everythings behind..behind…. πŸ™‚

it doesn’t mean i have the abbility to forget everything…*oh i wish i could* πŸ˜‰

but, i always have this kind of Β faith that, if sumthin’ Β hmmm..let say it, if i could decided to left some uncomfortable story behind *of course after long conversation with Allah in my istikaharah*…although my tears couldn’t stop falling n my heart breaking..i won’t look back..i won’t!

it hurts, though… but I believe Allah won’t leave me..not even a second… πŸ™‚

and someone ask, what if…what if u’ve decided something’s wrong?what if u doesn’t have the abbility to translate what Allah means?what if, what if, n what if?

ah dear, aku cuma seorang fakir yg sedang belajar menyerahkan semua persoalan hanya pada Allah..bukan seorang sufi atau ahli ibadah..bukan pula seorang alim yg mencapai derajat tinggi di mata Allah krn ilmunya…bukan…

aku hanya seorang hamba…

seorang hamba yg belajar mengembalikan semuanya pada Allah..mengembalikan semua rasa..cinta, benci, rindu…dan semua harapan…serta semua persoalan…hanya pada Allah…pada istikharah..pada tahajud…pada doa…pada sujud…

mungkin tidak selalu benar…tp aku percaya, Allah takkan menyesatkan hambaNya..bahkan Allah takkan memberikan cobaan yg melebihi kemampuan hambaNya…terlebih seorang ninta yg fakir…yg penuh khilaf…yg penuh noda..yg penuh ketidaksempurnaan…

ini mgkn akan sulit diterima…tapi please understand, aku serahkan semua di tgn Allah..dan saat ini, aku rasa i have to leave you and make our story behind…so sorry to say, and i might be wrong…but i believe, Allah Knows what’s best for us…and that is life without US…

sorry for “curcol” this time…u can skip not to read his one..ok? πŸ˜‰

good nite sahabat…time to sleep…time to let Allah holding our spirit…don’t forget to pray…”Bismika Alahumma ahya wa bismika aamuut” Kuserahkan hidup dan matiku hanya padaMu Allah..

Hanya PadaMU….